By Mike Finn, W.I.N. Editor
Most have never stepped on a wrestling mat and are usually considered the more diminutive of parents who can be found following their kids in wrestling tournaments all over this country.
They are the true women of wrestling; the moms.
But don’t think for one moment that they are the weaker of the sexes when it comes to which parent has the biggest impact on their wrestling son.
“I’m not going to name names but I can tell you there have been a lot of highly-successful Iowa wrestlers whose mothers I wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley,” said Morrie Adams. “But it wouldn’t bother me if I met the dads.”
Adams can speak about the Hawkeye moms by getting to know them pretty well the past ten years as Iowa’s radio play-by-play voice … and sometimes more professionally as a certified sports counselor who has worked with Iowa wrestlers.
The latter role is why Adams believes that moms play such a very important role in their son’s success.
“If I want to do a psychological profile on whether a male athlete could be a world-class competitor, I would do a psychological profile on mom,” said Adams, who believes a mom’s influence on her son has to do with the “script” that life has written for both.
Adams said it has to do with a psychological term called, “Script Analysis.”
“We are all scripted in our fate,” Adams said. “We all get locked into our own set of truths. Unless they are challenged, they remain our truths for the rest of our lives.”
And for the most part, Adams believes that men are scripted to ask their mothers for permission to be great, especially in sports. (Adams also points out that women athletes, in turn, seek permission from their fathers).
“Some people have (permission) and some people don’t,” Adams said. “Sometimes when you are working with them and realize that’s an issue, you literally have a conversation between the son and the mother about this whole thing.
“I’ve actually had moms give their sons permission to be competitive; to not be nice on the mat. I’ve had the son ask mom if that’s all right.”
According to Adams, having the permission to succeed means being able to do the things that gentlemen do not … at least in a sporting event.
“In order to be successful in a competitive arena, you have to have competitive skills; the will to win, the willingness to not share,” he added. “You don’t want to share victory when you compete. You want it all. You learn how to manipulate your opponent and manipulation is one of those skills.”
Adams said neither mothers … nor wrestlers … are aware of this power that mothers hold.
“Scripts are on a non-conscious level until they are brought into our conscious awareness. They have a significant impact on us and we are not aware of it,” Adams said.
So what should a mother, especially one whose son is just starting to wrestle, think when she reads this description of her role?
“She has to start with the idea that she is an absolute essential component on whether her son is going to be a strong competitor in whatever sport he is in,” Adams said.
Adams also said that fathers do play a role in their son’s careers, but it is that of a role model.
Together, mom and dad will have created more than a physical specimen.
“If mom teaches the child that he needs to be a winner or scripts that for him and dad role models for him, now you have what it takes to be a world-class athlete,” Adams said.
Adams added that an athlete’s script can be edited, but only with the help of a counselor.
“OK, so you are scripted,” he said. “Is there anything else that you can do about it. The answer is that you didn’t inherit (a script). You learned it. Anything that has been learned can be unlearned or re-learned but first of all you have to understand the idea that it’s almost impossible for the mind that created the problem to be the same mind that solves the problem.”
Adams also pointed out that sons have a hard time saying no to their moms.
“Boys have to realize that they can be loyal to their mom,” he said. “It doesn’t mean that you have to agree with the ways that she thinks, feels or behaves.”